A short review so far: Our primary concern is to unmask our child's sin and help him grasp how it reflects a heart that has strayed. In order to do this, we must first unmask our OWN sin (our motives and previous forms of discipline). We must, true to biblical principle, put off those ideas of how children should be raised that were offered to us by the world (even our own family!), put on that which the bible instructs us in and finally, renew our minds daily. Continue to choose to walk away from your children if you feel anger towards them during discipline. This is an action step of faith! We MUST trust that loving discipline, while it may not always bear immediate fruit, is indeed the only discipline that will touch the hearts of our children, therefore producing LASTING change!
In my Small Group last night, the discussion moved towards the topic of parenting (ok, maybe because i brought it up because i'm living and breathing Shepherding ;-) ) and how parenting is related to having an authentic faith. This topic (authentic faith) is one the Lord is bringing into my life and conversations regularly, lately. I am being challenged in ways I've never anticipated! Anyways, we were discussing what authentic faith looks like in general and it occurred to me that seeing as how parenting is SO much of what we do and defines so much of who we are, it is only natural that our faith SHOULD guide our parenting. More than in the general terms of "i want to raise my kids to love God"... we all want that. But how does that translate into action? See, that (the action part) is what sets "faith" (i use this as a general term) apart from a GENUINE, AUTHENTIC faith in my opinion.
The world is full of "cultural christians"; people who do not identify themselves to be hindu, buddhists, muslim, jewish, etc and most closely identify with the beliefs of Chrisitianity. However, the world (and hello, the church) is FULL of these christians who do not look to the God-breathed Word of God for how to do anything, much less raise children! Oh, Lord. Let US be different. As you open our eyes to all that you have to say about bringing up the next generation, allow us to hold one another accountable to not settle for less for our children. For YOUR children! Help us to realize that you have entrusted us with your creations and that their lives are for you to mold. Use us as your instruments, Lord. Help us to be the servant leaders you have called us to be! To lead with humility and grace, love and compassion. Teach us to hate sin and to embody a righteous anger when our children are separated from you because of such sin. And help us to lovingly guide them away from their desires, into a disciplined faith and walk with you!
Oh, my heart is heavy today, friends. But alas, we must get to chapter 2! Interesting stuff to discuss!!!
Did anyone else relate to Tripp as he shared the story of the time he spent helping his sons to make a concrete trough for the pigs, relating their lives to the trough and that when he paused for a breath, they ran off, unimpressed?! Or was that just me ;-)?
I, too, can be a bit too serious and discerning at times! HA! What a great reminder that while the Lord reveals things to our hearts, we should not be offended when our children do not yet "get it". After all, its taken 30 something years for me to catch a glimpse!
The person your child becomes is a product of two things 1.life experience and 2. how he interacts with that experience.
In other words, it is not JUST your childs life and circumstances that determine who he will become. How he reacts will play a role, as well.
I will give my own life as an example: My grandparents raised me. My mom was not quite ready to be a mom when I was born, and so my grandparents offered to take me. They took me home from the hospital and while my mom did live with us for the first several years of my life, my grandparents were my steady guardians. There are some downsides to this, of course. My "parents" were much older. As i grew up, they were not likely to attend my school functions due to illness, tiredness, etc. I'll not lie, that did make me sad. However, I have ALWAYS seen being raised by my grandparents as a huge blessing. I see clearly how the Lord allowed me to remain in my family and have stability where I would not have otherwise had it without having been given up for adoption (which my 1/2 sister was). My grandparents were older, but they were also wiser than a typical parent. They knew when and where to pick battles. They just knew what they were doing!
I know people who have grown up in similar situations (raised by an aunt/uncle or given up for adoption) who have, because of their circumstances, felt entitled to life. Like someone owed them something because they did not have the typical american family. This has ALWAYS perplexed me as to how 2 people with similar backgrounds can have such different attitudes about it.
But as Tripp states, it is how we respond to such circumstances in life that play that role in development. We will discuss more in chapter 3 about exactly what this means and our responsibility to it. For now, we need simply be aware that our response and our kids response does influence development.
For today, our focus will be on those influences which are (to some extent) under our control and how they shape our children.
I love his breakdown of shaping influences: Structure of Family Life, Family Values, Family Roles, Family Response to Failure, Family History, Family Conflict Resolution.
All of these are GREAT for us to think about, pray about and ask the Lord to help us understand (and potentially work on). However, it would be difficult for us (in a blog post) to go through all of these. So, i'll look forward to some discussion on our fb page! :-)
The biggie in Shaping Influences is being sure to avoid 2 big mistakes: becoming "Deterministic" in your approach or living in "Denial".
The tendency of most of us who are "control freaks" is to think that if we can closely control our childrens lives, the people in their lives, etc, that we can somehow determine the outcome of who our children will become. But this takes away from the fact that THEY will respond to life according to what Tripp will call their "Godward Orientation". But nor can we pretend that our childrens circumstances will have no effect on them at all!
I love the example Tripp give on pg 15 of the potter who states that "...he can only create the type of pot the clay he is working with will allow him to create. The clay is not merely passive in his hands" (pg 15). Some clay is harder to shape than others. But do not be discouraged... it can all be molded to some extent.
As a brief reminder from last week, I want to encourage you to continue to pursue Christ in your own daily quiet time. If you're anything like me, this is a struggle to prioritize. So I'd like to challenge each of us to get up 15 minutes before we normally do and simply pray, ask God for guidance and patience for the day. For discernment between what is sin and what is simply annoying. And pick up the Word and spend a few minutes reading. I know a lot of people are all about a proverb a day, but in our pursuit of Christ-likeness, I think it would be beneficial to perhaps be exposed again to the gospels. So pick your favorite and try reading a few verses or so a day. Lets learn from His example in how he treated others! After all "Unless the Word of God dwells richly in you, you will be ineffective in using it as a means of helping your children understand the overflow of their hearts".
Application for the Week:
1. Daily Devotion
2. Side with your children AGAINST sin. To do this, I'd urge you to acknowledge sin with the words "Uh Oh!" (this is a great tip from Andy Stanley). This helps us to remind ourselves that we are simply instruments in the process and not the ones sinned against and helps our children to know that we, too, are grieved when they sin. This puts us on the SAME team instead of on opposing sides working against one another. "Uh Oh. It looks like you didnt obey mommy. That was a bad choice, sweetheart. Now you'll have to XYZ" (whatever punishment you feel is adequate). Side with your kids, not against.
3. Discipline can be a never ending marathon, depending on the stage of your child. In times that we grow weary or wonder if we should or should not discipline, remember that there should be three NON-NEGOTIABLES in our homes. 1. Disobedience (remember to set your kids up for success, not failure... meaning, dont ask them to do something at a time you know they are tired, sick or hungry) 2. Dishonesty (wow, we can navigate through anything as long as our relationship is intact. dishonesty breaks relationship so its pertinent that we ingrain in our kids how important honesty is in life) and lastly 3. Disrespect (the bible instructs children to HONOR and OBEY).
1 comment:
This is an important factor to consider when trying to succeed at dieting cheap lumigan And that is just the tip of the iceberg if we talk about the whole effect of these free radicals in our body
Thinking for yourself implies: cymbalta Because everyone's brain chemistry is different, antidepressants usually affect individuals differently.
Most of us spend at least 8-10 hours a night breathing in all of the chemicals that make up our bed buy viagra for women uk Do not "tale" the bar; otherwise it will go up due to inertia, rather than due to the work of triceps
First, there is very little (if any) evidence that these 'natural' diet pills help you to lose weight iressa price
Even small amounts of poisons can rapidly accumulate in the colon, the rapid aging of a person and causing weight gain too
So the child of an alcoholic parent - or parents - may carry a gene that predisposes them to the condition, but they will only manifest it if they drink alcohol Get Orlistat Discount Relying on "diet" drinks and processed foods
Post a Comment