I finally told the nurse that I really wanted her to call the anesthesiologist and ask them to completely redo the epidural. She agreed that it was time. He was there within a half hour or so, but it felt like an eternity. By 3am I had a new, fabulous, epidural. I will say that having to bend over like that and hold still while hurting that badly was the hardest thing i'd done so far. But Jeff was great and encouraged me the whole time.
Mommie and Mama arrived around 3:45 and Elizabeth (my half sister) was there within 30 more minutes. Close to 4:30 I started feeling a lot of pressure again. No "hot spots" this time, but just a lot of pressure. The nurse came to check me and our family exited to the waiting room for the duration. I needed rest before I had to start pushing. Turns out, I was already at 10cm!!!
The nurse said I'd start pushing at 5:30 (looking back and thinking forward, this will simply NOT happen again. This go round, when i hit 10cm, I'm pushing. Period. I will tell the nurse to call Dr Pohl who i know will come to the hospital whenever its time... but i will NOT let my baby sit in the birth canal for almost an hour and a half while I'm fully dilated while a nurse tells me to wait b/c that's most convenient for them... ). So at 5:40 I pushed for the 1st time.
My 2nd epidural was placed pretty low which did 2 things... 1st, it was not very strong and I could still feel a decent amount. Not enough to think I was dying, but enough to know what was happening. 2nd, I could still feel every contraction up at the top of my uterus. For this reason, I knew when to push way before the contraction showed up on the monitor. Tricia was great and allowed me to kind of lead the process from them on (once she realized i knew what to do).
Dr Pohl came in a little after 6am and got his scrubs on and the baby care tray ready. He adjusted the bed to a better position for labor and birth and the pushing continued. Meanwhile, they finally had ok'd me drinking water and i'd basically already drank 1/2 a gallon. I asked Jeff (my water lackey! haha!) for more to which he replied "there is no more! its all gone". I assured him I would drink the water from the toilet at that point but that I felt certain that there was some in the sink :-) I still think its funny that he didnt think of that. I think he was very focused on me and the baby!
After Rhyan's head came out, Dr Pohl had to do an episotomy b/c she was facing the wrong way. So he told me to not push (which turns out was the hardest thing EVER! seeing as how she was 1/2 out, 1/2 in!) and did a cut so that he could reach up in there and turn her over. Um, fyi, that was pretty much the worst part. I am a very quiet person when I'm in pain, but this was something I couldnt help but to whimper over. I didnt cry, but omg, i thought I was going to.
One more push and BAM, there was Rhyan.
She scored a 9 on her immediate APGAR and a 10 at the 10 min recheck. She was (is) perfect :-)
Dr Pohl had Jeff cut the cord and placed her on my belly. I was in shock. I'm not gonna lie. My 1st thought was "OMG. What am I gonna do now?!". I wanted desperately to protect her and care for her and at the same time, I was terrified. I looked to Jeff (bad move) who also looked terrified. I'm laughing thinking back on this :-) I bet Dr Pohl sees 1st time parents express this face all the time! ha!
The placenta, the stitches, blah, blah, blah.... (i didnt realize that part takes so long! ugh!)
Before I knew it the family was in the room with us (both sets of parents...) and we were all staring at this little life. This amazing life!
In the beginning of my pregnancy, I had been terrified of losing the baby like we had our 1st. But God was so good to give me a verse from my favorite book of the bible during a quiet time one morning. This is what His word said to my heart in Isaiah 43:18,19“Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. 19 Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not know it?"
I clung to that verse throughout my pregnancy but indeed, i did NOT know the incredible new thing that Christ was doing in and through me. I had no clue that this little life that He was forming would change my life and my heart. That I would get, through Rhyan, a taste of how the Lord feels for me. Loves me. Longs for a relationship with me. Through Rhyan I have gotten a glimpse of what it must be like to be my Heavenly Father... to love when someone is not loveable. When someone is not deserving. When they have done nothing to have earned favor.
So, while 2 years I was terrified of what God had given us, today I am nothing short of grateful for His grace and mercy and for His incredible gift that He has given to us in the form of Rhyan. She is my 1st born and has taught me so much in these short 2 years.
My sweet RhyanYou will never, ever know just how blessed I am to be your mommy. You bring joy to mine and your Daddy's life that we've never known before. Pure, unadulterated joy!
I sing a song to you every night: You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy when skies are gray, you'll never know, dear, how much i love you, please dont take my sunshine away...
My granny sang that song to me when I was a little girl and it is my honor to sing it to you each night. Never have truer words been sang! You do bring smiles to our faces with your silly little ways. And whats the most fun is that you sing the song along with me, now! Absolutely the most precious sound I've ever heard :-)
I adore you, sweet girl. Your Daddy and I take very seriously this charge given to us by the Lord to raise you to love your Heavenly Father more than anything else and we pray that you will choose to give your life and heart to Him at the earliest time you understand what that means.
You are such a sweet, fun little girl. You love the "outside" and could stay out from sun up till sun down when it's pretty out. You love to sing and love to read and both of these things make my heart happy.
You are SMART. And teachable. And precious.
And we love you.
And nothing will ever change that.
Mommy and Daddy
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