Gwinnett County Fair: 2012

I have a slight obsession with the fair. I'm fairly certain that I've been pretty much every year of my life (with VERY few exceptions). I've never been to any other fairs and while I've heard that ours is a little "white-trashy" (haha), nothing can deter me from my love! 

I was excited to introduce Mack to the fair in an interactive way this year. Last year, he accompanied the family but Mommie pretty much held him and fed him and loved on him all night while we walked around... he didnt really "see" too much at 3 months old :-) Not so, this year! We started off in the 4-H petting zoo.

My sweet girl has a love for animals just like her daddy!

We walked around the petting zoo area for a bit but Rhyan wasnt as impressed as last year. There werent as many animals! BOO! So she said "i wanna get outta here". So we did. With our free milk's in hand, of course! Next stop, a pic with the Mayfield dairy cow. Jeff was trying to instruct them so I could capture them. Um, we werent very successful, but we tried, none the less!

We debated back and forth as to whether we should pay the exorbitant amount for a "stamp" to ride all the rides (its $25 on Sundays! RIPOFF!!!) but as Rhyan insisted on riding every ride, we figured it'd be worth it. Then, there was the question of would she ride by herself or would one of us have to get a stamp too.

Long story short, we were out $50 in a flash. I told you, i'm a SUCKER for the fair! ;-)

She We LOVED the swings!

While we were standing in line for the swings, it started sprinkling. Rhyan and I kept saying "Jesus, please dont let it rain!". Negative! We rode the roller coaster after the swings and then the bottom let out :-)

So we hid under an awning for a bit and called the boys to see what they were up to. Jeff had offered to take Mack and explore while Rhyan and I rode the rides (he doesnt like things that spin around and thats about all kiddie fair rides are!) so we werent sure if they were stuck in the rain or not. But they were walking around the exhibits, safe from the rain!

Here's the thing about the fair... there are pretty much about 4 or 5 rides. And those rides are repeated with a different face about 4 or 5 times. So theres about 20 rides, but they're all the same :-)

I dont think she expected the takeoff. LOL!

It quit raining before long and Rhyan and I took full advantage of our remaining time. And boy, did the humidity make her hair curly!

She was ALL about the bumper boats... but she didnt quite understand how to make it turn. So she thought it was fun for a few minutes...

And then she started getting upset because she was going in circles and it wouldnt stop ;-) Sweet girl! haha!

They also had a "fun house" that she didnt think was very much fun. And a little girl totally busted her rear while we were in there so it was a little traumatic for us all! haha! On to the obstacle course, said Rhyan!

She was barely tall enough to do it and parents are not allowed on this so I was running all around the thing telling her she was doing a good job and to keep going (she was nervous to be going alone).

But she eventually made it to the slide! Hooray!!!

We met up with the boys and let little Mack take a ride on the merry-go-round with Rhyan and I. This pic doesnt show it, but he LOVED it!!! He was smiling ear to ear! (until we took a pic, of course!)

LOVE this of my little prissy girl :-)

We finally went and grabbed a bite to eat after all of our fun rides. Except for some reason, Mack was being, well, difficult. He didnt want to eat what we offered and was being a pill. I thought it would be fun to let the kids try a funnel cake. And again, Mack was refusing to eat anything we offered. Turns out, it was because HE wanted to pick up his own food and thats why he was refusing what we tried to hand to him. STUBBORN!

Just before we left, Rhyan was saying she wanted to ride the cars. We figured one last ride was ok :-) And as it turned out, she quite appropriately got to ride in the "Ford" truck!

Despite the rain, we had a great time overall. We were sad that Mommie wasnt able to come, but we enjoyed ourselves. Rhyan ended up going back AGAIN  later in the week with my Mom and said she loved the "parade".

Till next year!

SO BIG!!!

WARNING: By looking at these pictures, you may want to have more children. I've captured a couple of cute/sweet moments. Do not be fooled, though! They are not always this "helpful" and "sweet". Only 99% of the time, of course. I mean, they cant be perfect! (kidding!)

Mack wants to be a big helper like his sister! He went and got the 409 and a rag and went to cleaning the table, just like his "Rhy Rhy" does. A-freaking-dorable!

And when did he get big enough to eat at the big kid picnic table with Rhyan? *sigh*!

Doing his sign language for "more". Grapes, that is. He is OBSESSED!

Rhyan helps me unload the dishwasher, and Mack helps me load it and close it up!

SO BIG!

And for all their hard work, they get to relax for a little tv time. Not quite sure what their daddy did to deserve the down time (kidding... he's a hard working guy, for sure!).

Gosh, i LOVE THESE BABIES!!!! (the big one, too)

Shepherding A Childs Heart: Chapter 6

I could list excuses... lets just say I'm sorry I was AWOL. Out of town, kids sick, etc...
And I mentioned that its common to struggle with sticking with something past week 4-5, right?
Yeah...

Time to REWORK OUR GOALS!!!

All goals must pass one litmus test. Does this goal lead our child to glorify God and enjoy Him forever?

Now, in revisiting the typical goals, we can compare some non-biblical goals to what some Christ-centered goals may look like. When thinking of social development, Tripp mentions that there are loads of parents who will send their children to private school (for whatever reasons as i'm sure they vary) but will send the kids to a dance class. I love what he says on pg 50, "They will refuse to have them influenced by secular humanism in school, but will expose them to unbiblical ideas of beauty in dance class".

He goes on to challenge us to ask ourselves why we put our children in activities to begin with. Is it to grow their self worth? To help them find something they are good at so they will be proud? So they will find friends? To trust themselves?...

While none of these things are "bad" in our culture, the bible calls it foolishness! God warns us to not trust ourselves. To not be dependent on ourselves. To not be prideful. Instead, it is in our best interest and will give God the most glory when we trust HIM. Depend on HIM. Boast only in HIM. So, while activities are fun and can be helpful in lots of areas of life, guard yourself and your childs heart that you do not look to fulfill a part of your life in an ungodly way via this vehicle.

On a personal note, I thought that the warnings Tripp gives about prioritizing practice for some skill while the family struggles to spend time in biblical disciplines each day is so convicting. It is my personal hope and prayer that until we prioritize our time at home more appropriately, we will not add more to our plate. How foolish to think that if we add more to our plate we will somehow plan better or that the additional activities will give us accountability in some way. "Ok, if we let our child sign up for ballet, we HAVE to start making sure we read the bible and pray each day with her or we'll have to stop ballet". Really? We're great negotiators with ourselves. And we may do better for a while, but we slip back and justify avoiding the spiritual disciplines.

About that... can i just say that instilling into your children the importance of spiritual disciplines is a HUGE GIFT!?! Take it from someone who grew up in a Christian home but who was never made to practice the disciplines. I saw my Daddy read his bible daily. Saw him pray daily. But never was it expected of me nor was I included. I'm not saying I'm some sort of victim... my Mommie and Daddy both came from homes where living a Christian life was not lived out by their parents. Each generation, however, has the opportunity to see where they have done well or could do better. And this is something I want to do better with my children!

"Abilities should be developed because God has given the stewardship of talents and special capabilities. Skills that would make your children more able to serve and open channels of ministry to others should be encouraged" (pg 50). LOVE THIS!!!

Moving on to the parents concern for their childs Psychological Adjustment. Did anyone else struggle with the example of how we should teach our children to deal with bullies? Did anyone else think, "yeah, i know its Godly and biblical to show compassion and love to everyone. But if someone hurts my child, I'll kill 'em"?! haha! Really, this is one area that is extremely difficult as a parent. But we MUST trust God! We MUST as parents practice this very truth of turning away wrath with a kind word. Things that seem against our culture are the very things that set us apart (sanctify) us...make people wonder why we do the things we do. And then we have the opportunity to share that its our love for JESUS that makes us do this! And that, my friend, is how God is glorified!!!

The concern of seeing our children "Get Saved" is of upmost importance to all Christian parents. Of course it is our greatest desire that our Children would accept Christ as their savior. But I love what Tripp says about this, "Perhaps one of the problems with this perspective is that it looks for a major spiritual event of salvation and misses the spiritual process of nurturing your children...

It is our task to faithfully teach our children the ways of God. It is the Holy Spirit's task to work through the Word of God to change their hearts."

Its interesting to me that somehow as "the church" we have come to accept that salvation comes as a result of a specific prayer. I'll admit that at one point as a teen, I felt it was "necessary" to pray a "sinners prayer" but really, I dont know that to be biblical. The issue i see with this is twofold: 1. the sinners prayer can be a false crutch for someone who may have said the words but never had a heart change and 2. for someone who has believed in their heart and confessed with their mouths that Jesus Christ is Lord but who has never gone to an alter and prayed this prayer, they may feel insecure in their salvation. Anyhoo, that was a rabbit trail. But just a word to all of us to look for REPENTANCE and FAITH not as a one time initiation to Christianity, as Tripp says, but as the way we relate to God. "Faith is not just the way to get saved; it is the lifeline of Christian living" (pg 53).

In thinking about Family worship as a goal... it is a MEANS to getting to know God. If family worship for our family is just another task to check off the list, then we have missed the point. Our family worship must be creative and flexible. And age appropriate! Do whatever you need to do to make a story real for your children! To help them to get into the shoes of the characters and to imagine all of the hopes and dreams and fears of these people as they obeyed (or didnt) Gods Word.

The goal of Well Behaved Children! OH, how I struggle with this! I get compliments daily about how polite Rhyan is. She says please and thank you and no thank you and you're welcome regularly, without being prompted :-) Makes me smile, of course. But why does it make me smile? I'll admit, its easy to take pleasure because when she receives a compliment, it is partially a compliment to Jeff and I as her parents. But this is a less than worthy reason to be pleased! As Tripp reminds us, "when saying 'please' and 'thank you' are rooted in what it means to look out for the interests of others, they become expressions of biblical love". When we train our children to be polite because they care for others and when they care for others because they love Jesus and see each person as His creation, it brings a deep joy rather than the superficial joy of knowing they are simply doing what is culturally expected.

And finally, the goal of giving our children a Good Education. Am I the only kid who used to get paid for good grades?! I've long since my school years understood the fallacy in this way of thinking, so it was so nice to see it addressed in a book :-) Dont get me wrong, I enjoyed making money off of my efforts. But in reality, my efforts were minimal. School was easy for me. In retrospect, my parents should have been more concerned with teaching me to do all things as unto the Lord. Because in all honesty, I was lazy and got good grades. Unfortunately, that is how school work was for me (please understand that I am not trying to brag about the ease of school work for me. I refused to take classes that challenged me in high school because i like for things to be easy... NOT a good trait). FAITHFULNESS of the abilities God has given me should have been my parents main concern regarding school. I'm so grateful to be married to a teacher who understands and agrees that the grade is simply a measuring stick by which we can see what we are gifted in or struggle with. Its interesting to me that we see it as normal that our kids are not great at every sport, yet we think they should excel at every subject. It simply will not happen. And we should not expect for it to! Faithfulness and diligence to work hard and do the best they can should be our hopes for our children in regards to education!

WEEKLY APPLICATION:

-As we continue to examine our goals, how do we replace our old goals with new ones? If we do not replace them intentionally and with thought, we are likely to do so unintentionally and unbiblically (think of a smoker who gives up cigarettes... they are likely to turn to food, etc)

-Continue to pray for discernment regarding your childs heart. SIDE NOTE/PERSONAL STORY: this week, Rhyan did something BIG in my book. She asked for a tootsie roll at 8am. A little early to start with candy ;-) I was on the phone but told her no (there was no mistaking my answer). A few minutes went by and I called for her with no answer. I looked down the hall and saw that her door was closed. I went in and saw her chewing on the tootsie roll. Her first question to me? "You gonna spank me, Mommy?". Long story short, she spit out the candy and we talked about how she had done what Adam and Eve had done; disobeyed and tried to hide it. We talked about how she has to trust Mommy and Daddy and even though she may think something is not a big deal, she must still obey. I asked her some heart probing questions and we talked some more. And then I spanked her. It broke my heart! It was the first time she had tried to hide her disobedience from me and it just broke my heart. Just a reminder that we ARE shepherding our children's hearts and we have opportunities to do so daily!

Sibling Fun!

As exhausting as having two kids close in age can be, I LOVE that they play together and enjoy each other!

Idk how long this bathing together thing can last, but they have a BLAST for now!

"BAD FACE!" lol!!!

Such the artists!

Labor-less Day

Oh, Labor day... how I love thee ;-) Oh, wait! I dont ever work on Monday's anyways! Well, then I guess i love it because my husband gets to be home with me!

We actually decided to go up to the Mountain house for Labor day weekend this year. Unfortunately, Jeff had to help with the parking for Archer's varsity football game that friday, so he couldnt go leave until either late Friday or early Saturday. So I told him I would just head on up Friday afternoon and he could come separately after the game. That way we could get in some good visiting time but could still come home on Sunday, giving us all of Monday "off" (not driving).

Then, on the drive up, I spoke with my mom who was on the way to the hospital to take mommie... She had gone from doing pretty well back to sleeping all day and not seeming to be feeling well. Her blood work showed an elevated liver panel, meaning some sort of infection or something. The dr wasnt sure but really felt she needed to be hospitalized. So the whole way up, I was concerned. But assumed all would be ok, so we went on.

I was pretty proud of the kids on the 2 hour ride up. Thats the first time I've taken both of them somewhere so far away alone.:-) Luckily, when we got there, my wonderful in-laws were there and more than willing to help watch the kids and unpack. YAY!

Jeff got there around 11 or so, i think. I'm not sure... we were all asleep :-)

The next morning, I called for an update on Mommie.

"Congestive Heart Failure"... the words just broke my heart. And whats worse is that the Dr's were making it sound like she had merely weeks to live, if that long. So, as you can imagine, my heart sank and I'm pretty sure I ruined the rest of the weekend for everyone. Long story short, she's ok. She'll continue to battle CHF but she, after over a week's stay in the hospital, is on the mend! 

Back to the weekend! Andy, Jeff, Rhyan, Mack and I enjoyed the pancake breakfast put on by the neighborhood. It was pretty yummy!

The rest of teh weekend was pretty laid back... we took a drive down to the waterfall!

WHOA there buddy! Dont fall! :-)

We had a wonderful, relaxing weekend for the most part. Certainly I was distracted. But It was nice to have such quiet surroundings to reflect and to pray for Mommie...

Shepherding a Childs Heart: Chapter 5

Examining our goals!

So, hopefully we were all able to get our spouses to read the book and we sat down or maybe even went on a DATE NIGHT! (whats that again?!) and discussed some of our training objectives, child's strengths and weaknesses and develop some goals and strategies for parenting.

Or, you're still hoping your husband will find time/God will give him the desire to read, you're confused about this term "date night" and you are hoping that one day you'll find time to consider some training objectives ;-)

Regardless of where you are (i'm closer to the latter of the two sentences... my husband is in his masters degree and I dont think you could PAY him to read another book right now), the fact that we are all gaining awareness is key. Meditating on these new principles is the next step to making change!

In chapter 5, Tripp discusses some unbiblical goals that are not worthy of the time and effort that so many parents put into them.  Some parents spend so much time either working with their child or hiring others to do the job so as to make them a prodigy of some sort. They put so much time and attention focused towards a particular sport or dance or playing an instrument that they put all else aside. And for many, cast aside are all concerns of their childs exposure to biblical instruction. All of this is determined by what a parents definition of success is. And our main question must be: what is a biblical definition of success!??

Then there are other parents who are far more concerned with their childs psychological adjustment in the world. Who cares if little Johnny can play an instrument, he needs to know how to play the world like a fiddle! They are all concerned with their childs self esteem. Unfortunately, this parent seems to forget that biblical attitudes focus more on others than ourselves. Yes, it is wise to be introspective. But so that we can see our own faults and strengths and pray for help where needed and give God glory where deserved!

And I think that most of us can at least to some extent identify with the unbiblical goal of wanting to see our children get saved. But then, we should all know that salvation does not take away life's troubles. Nor will it make our child an angel. It is a step of submission and the beginning of having a deeper understanding of God, but salvation in no way is a "fix it". We are not done parenting when our child accepts the Lord as their savior... indeed, discipleship has just begun at that point!

Then, there are some parents who put so much emphasis on family worship time, yet, it does not translate into a daily fleshing out of faith...

And then we hit the one that certainly hit me the hardest: the unbiblical goal of having  well behaved children. As Tripp states, "Having well behaved children is not a worthy goal. It is a great secondary benefit of biblical childrearing" (pg 43). Why? "When being well-mannered is severed from biblical roots in servanthood, manners become a classy tool of manipulation" (43). 

Ok, lets take a break from our children for a moment. Am I the only one thinking "OUCH!" from that statement?! Oh, what a cooperative rebel I am. How well I behave in order to gain the approval and acceptance of others... not because I love the Lord, trust that doing good to others is best and most glorifying for Him... Back to examining my own heart! The more we read and become aware of, there more we find to work on :-)

And we probably all know someone who has made it their life's goal to be sure that their child is the most educated person around. Offering only the best private schools hoping for the highest of achievements and awards. Again, is there anything wrong with this? Not in and of itself. It is when this becomes a goal primary to raising our children to glorify God and enjoy him forever that it becomes a problem...

Finally, there are the parents (like me) who are control freaks and who desire children who are manageable. These parents have really no parenting goals that are related to the childrens character development... rather, all parenting is focused on the convenience and ease on the parent.

The Biblical warning against cultural influence section was really convicting to me. Primarily because I am struggling with some convictions of how we, as Christians, have totally become imbedded in the culture of america, so much so as to ignore biblical instruction :-( Tripp reminds us again of our MASSIVE responsibility as a parent:

"If you teach (your children) to use their abilities, aptitudes, talents, and intelligence to make their lives better, without reference to God, you turn them away from God"  

By pandering to desires and wishes, tripp explains, we teach them to find their soul's delight in going places and doing things. We encourage the sin of materialism by delighting in their enjoyment of posessions.

Our objective is clear and concise:  SET BEFORE OUR CHILDREN A BIBLICAL WORLDVIEW. Teach them that they are CREATURES MADE IN THE IMAGE OF GOD- MADE FOR GOD.

They are not... and WE are not... made for this world. There is nothing wrong with enjoying the goodness of this world, but when our focus on the things of this world overrides our desire to be in Gods will, there is a problem.

The last section on sending mixed signals is brilliant, in my opinion. Even in disciplining a 3 year old, when they see the "reason" to obey as being "to make mommy happy" or "avoid a spanking", they are missing the point. Because we are not showing them the real point. I'd also like to add that I firmly believe that it is precisely this type of parenting that leads to rebellious teens. Give your child no better reason to obey then "because I said so" (how many of us heard this growing up?) and dont be shocked when they no longer find that to be a compelling reason to resist their flesh.

Weekly Application:

1. Think about what you consider to be success. How is it that you and your spouse are pursuing success in this world. Is your pursuit of success confirming or sending mixed signals to your children regarding biblical success? Talk about this with your spouse... we all may find that our OWN goals for life may look a little different!

2. Continue to meditate on what you have learned/been made aware of so far. Pray daily, BEFORE getting your children out of bed for wisdom, guidance and discernment for opportunities to teach them the true definition of success.