Redeemed

We lay my uncle, Jonathan, to rest today. His birthday was Monday, Sept 28 and he turned 52. Just hours later, before the sun could break on the next day, he was already gone.

Jonathan was not married nor did he have children. He had spent the last 19 months of his life in jail and had he lived, he would have spent another 8.5 years there. It all sounds so sad and tragic, I know.

And truthfully, parts of his life are sad. The way it ended, specifically, was incredibly heartbreaking and something I dont think i'll "get over" for a long while... if ever.

But what some people dont know about Jonathan is what I want to share. Because tonight, as i've thought about the sum of his life and the choices he made, I cant help but to be grateful that there is no limit to how many said "bad choices" we make that make us unworthy of Gods love and grace and salvation. And likewise, there are no number of "good choices" that we can make that make us easier to love or more worthy of the same grace and salvation. In fact, often times it can be the people who have made all of the "right" choices in life who can be most difficult to love because their own sense of justification can cause them to lose sight of just how great their need is for a savior.

That was not true with Jonathan. Jonathan knew he needed to be saved. Both from himself and to Jesus.

Shlaine spoke at his funeral today. And wow... what an AMAZING job she did. She shared about his tender heart and how, as his little sister, she had often been protected by him. She shared a story in particular that I think tells a LOT about who Jonathan was. She was about 9 and he was 11 and they were riding on his dirt bike when they wrecked and she was hurt pretty badly on the leg. They were a little ways from home and he, being only 2 years older than her and "scrawny", carried her the whole way home... crying the entire way and telling Shlaine how sorry he was that she was hurt. That was Jonathan... always wanting to have a good time, always hurting when others hurt, always wearing his heart on his sleeve.

Through his life, Jonathan made many bad choices and found himself in and out of trouble much of his adult life. But in the last years of his life, you could see that the same 11 year old boy's heart was still the same... tender, compassionate, loving, kind, caring. The last 2 years of Mommie's life, Jonathan spent caring for her day in and day out.

But most people already know that about him. What you may not know is that the last 19 months, while in jail, Jonathan spent his time in Gods word. Leading bible studies. Completing bible course after course, stacking up certificate after certificate from Campus Church.

In Jonathan's belongings that we got back from the jail was stacks of letters from other inmates, thanking him for the bible studies he led, the prayers he had prayed for them, the encouragement he had given them. This is something we just found today... the day we said goodbye.   One in particular stood out as a young man told Jonathan that he knew that God had called him to ministry but that he had ran from that calling, feeling unworthy and like a failure. The young man had turned to drugs as he ran from his calling and through this had found himself in jail... with Jonathan. And it was through the bible studies that Jonathan was conducting that the young man was drawn back to the truth of Gods word and who he is (and who we ALL are) in Christ... Redeemed.

Today, at the funeral, we played the song Redeemed. I'll end with the words of the song as i just dont know any better words to speak to Jonathans life. He was created by God, for God, to bring glory to God. And while parts of his life did very little of that, other parts (specifically the last 19 months leading up to his death) were full of those things... And for that, I'm grateful.

Seems like all I can see was the struggle
Haunted by ghosts that lived in my past
Bound up in shackles of all my failures
Wondering how long is this gonna last
Then You look at this prisoner and say to me “son
stop fighting a fight that’s already been won”

I am redeemed, You set me free
So I’ll shake off theses heavy chains
Wipe away every stain now I’m not who I used to be
I am redeemed

All my life I have been called unworthy
Named by the voice of my shame and regret
But when I hear You whisper, “Child lift up your head”
I remember oh God, You’re not done with me yet

I don’t have to be the old man inside of me
Cause his day is long dead and gone
I’ve got a new name, a new life I’m not the same
And a hope that will carry me home

I feel confident that Jonathan is in eternity with his Savior... fully Redeemed.