What I need to be doing tonight is charging my DSLR camera so that I can download the Thanksgiving and Christmas pictures and catch up on my blog. Yeah... its almost March and I still havent posted about Thanksgiving. I've quit setting goals. I'll get to it when I get to it, is my new attitude ;-)
But what I want to write about is all of my current issues. Because by the time I get around to posting about Feb... I will have forgotten that I ever felt the way I do right now!
Oak Hill has been our church home for almost 12 years now.
When Jeff and I were teenagers and dating, we attended Pleasant Grove Baptist. We both gave our lives to Christ at PGBC and began our walk with the Lord there. We got married there. And one year later, some terrible things happened that caused us to move on from PGBC.
Several friends of ours from PG had started going to Oak Hill so we decided to visit. And as it turns out, we never visited anywhere else. We felt so welcomed and were just loved on by so many people... we wanted to stay! So, stay we did.
We took a break from serving for the first year or so of attending OHBC as we "healed" from the hurts of our previous church (wahhhh... i know... everyone has a church sob story. Isnt it unfortunate that we have to go to church with SINNERS?! haha). But eventually, we got involved. And it was great! We served together in the youth ministry, just as we had at PGBC. I led worship. Jeff ran the skit ministry. We loved serving with some lifelong friends and loved the families we were serving.
But somehow, along the way, Oak Hill started to lose members. One by one, families who we love have moved on. Slowly we have watched friends move onto other church's. And while it was sad, we remained at Oak Hill because we believe that the community in which it is placed has a huge need to have the gospel shared!
Over the years, however, we have somehow become the only "young" family in our church. And we are not drawing other "young families" for whatever reason. And despite hoping and praying and serving... well, we have felt that, as a family, we are missing a big piece of life...
Mutual and age appropriate friendships.
Young families who are raising kids.
As much as we, as "mature" christians, don't like to admit that we have needs... we do.
And how does that happen, anyway? That we accept Christ as our savior, grow for a few years and somehow are expected to never "need" anything again but rather to give, give, give and self feed independently? Thats just not reality! Every leader, every pastor,
every christian... NEEDS accountability. Mutuality. People to share life with who are in the same phase of life.
Now, dont get me wrong. We are all also called to be a mentor to others and to have mentors. We all also need those who have already walked in our footsteps who can pour out wisdom to us. And we all need to pour out the wisdom thats been imparted to us to others.
But we also need mutuality.
And thats something we've been missing.
So, yesterday was our last day at Oak Hill. It was emotional for us both, although I doubt that anyone could tell on the outside.
Jeff went early that morning to clean the floors of the hallway and kids rooms. For the last time.
And I went early to practice on praise team. For the last time.
The hardest part for us is that we're NOT upset about anything at our church. Nothing is "wrong". No one has made us mad ;-)
We've done our best to serve the people and the community of Oak Hill to the best of our ability to the very end. And now, we are in a season that we look forward to being poured
into. A time of refreshing of our souls. A time of rejuvenation.
But its also scary. Because we have no idea as to where we will go. Will people be kind to our children like the people of Oak Hill have? Will anyone speak to us? How alone will we feel as we've left our church home and the people we've left feel hurt by us and need space. So many questions...
And on the other hand, there is this excitement of what is to come. What will it be like to go to church where Jeff will have friends who are also dads who are working and trying to raise a family and be a good husband and stay strong spiritually? How great will it be to share frienships with other couples with young kids... maybe our kids will be friends!?
I dont know what God has for us. I'm scared. And sad. And a little excited. And hopeful for some spiritual growth to come into our family again. And that last thought makes it worth all of the fear and sadness...because my deepest hope is that we will grow in our relationship with Christ, therefore in our relationship with one another. And that as a result, our children will see parents who live out the gospel for them daily and that ultimately, they, too, would choose to follow Christ. After all, THEY are our greatest ministry!
