This year, mothers day for me was so very different. I am by no means a perfect mom or even a great one... but i'm a confident one. I have learned in this past year that I'm going to make mistakes and that contrary to what i had previously thought, those mistakes probably wont permanently scar Rhyan :-) I've learned that it takes time for babies to fall into a schedule, but that with consistency (not stressing over it) it will come. I've come to realize that even after babies are on a good schedule, things will go "wrong" some days and all you can do is go with the flow and get back on track when you can. I now know that my fear was a good thing as it caused me to be humbled and to depend on the Lord... and there is no other way to attempt to raise a child that will give as much peace as depending on the Lord for guidance will do.In the last year, i have learned what pure- really really pure- joy is. I've learned what it means to fall so in love with your child that you would do anything for them. I have learned that sometimes this means that Rhyan is not happy because in doing what is best for her, she may disapprove (ie: weekly therapy for her neck). I've learned that crying is a part of life for a baby.... and a huge part of life for a mommy. Or at least this mommy! I cry when she's hurt, when she learns something new, when she wakes up with an ear infection and i'm so tired i'm delirious.
Rhyan,In having you, i have experienced life at its fullest. Before you, I was a selfish person who saw no reason to give of myself beyond what pleased me. How that has changed! I would give my life for you! Your smile, your laugh, your grunts, your funny faces... it all brings me joy like i've never known existed until you came along. I have had so much fun this past year watching you grow and learn and explore. For every new thing that you discover in this world, its as if i discover it again for the first time! In the book that we read each night, I love you through and through, it says
"i love your happy side, i love your sad side, i love your silly side, i love your mad side. i love your fingers and toes, your ears and nose, i love your hair and eyes, your giggles and cries. i love you running and walking, silent and talking. i love you through and through, yesterday today and tomorrow too!"
And i do! I love everything about you. I thank God for you every day and am forever grateful that He allowed me to be your mom!
I love you!
Mommy
And a HUGE thank you to Jason and Liz for treating all of us to hibachi for Mothers day!
